Theo's world!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

ohhh!

I actually wanted the title of the blog to be an expletive, but i guess the censored version i settled for will have to do.

Life has been a lot kinder to me these few days. I no longer feel like punching walls or hugging my fluffy stuffed-dog and rocking back and forth in a corner of my room, nor do i feel like ripping people's heads off. In my book, the not-wanting-to-inflict-severe-physical-harm-on-others part is enough to warrant the current situation as an... improvement.

Been staying back for dance training and argh, i'm so gonna miss it when it's gone. It gives me something to look forward to at the end of a crappy school day. Plus, i like the friendship and bonds we have as a group, all 8 of us. It feels a little like family to me i guess.

Although i get back late and extremely tired, i think it's worth it. Oh, and i also found out that dancing to Gee is... strangely more tiring than the entire Sorry Sorry. Maybe it's cause we need to move our hips so much? That's one particular part of my anatomy i never really had to use in such abundance before so... But still, it's very enjoyable!

Kudos to Amanda Goh, for coming down to teach us Gee even though she was very obviously feeling sick. When i met her at the guardhouse and she answered my questions with sign language, i thought it was some kind of game she was playing, until i realised, she couldn't talk.

On a slightly more sour note though, Sher and i have been communicating through MSN, and text messages and whatnot. Sure, technology is fantastic and all. But being there in person is on a whole'nother level human technology has yet to reach. Sigh... It's just bad luck she doesn't have a web cam... Well, chinese new year IS coming up....

I wanted to blog a lot more cra- i mean, stuff, down, but i'm just too tired. I don't think i;ll be getting much work done tonight, i'm yawning my eyes out as it is.

Gd'Night

whoa!!
9:47 PM

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Fairytales

They never end nicely now do they?

When i was younger, i dreamed of going on adventures, of sailing the world and seeing things that other could only dream of. I dreamed of visiting places that no one even knew existed, i wanted to be an explorer and all.

I guess some dreams sound impossible huh? I like to read cause it lets me escape. Escape from this life of routine and what not. Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, etc etc. The books let me go into their world, and the saddest part of any good book, is reading the last page, cause you never want to leave. Not after falling in love with the characters, not after going through so many adventures with them.

It sounds stupid doesnt it?

I still do dream of sailing the world. Across the 7 seas. Who knows maybe that day will come. But what would it be worth, if i were to do all of that, fufill all of my dreams,

...without you?

whoa!!
11:25 PM

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Here it goes...

So many things to do, so little time. So much has happened this week and it's only wednesday. How am i ever gonna survive like this?

I would go on to the usual whinings of how i get back so freaking pissed off and tired everyday, but i think i've written too much of that already. I can almost hear people asking me to sing a new song...

Well where do i start? I'm a big believer in being orderly, so i guess i start from the very first thing that's been on my mind. Yesterday, Mr Tuang had a talk with me. He said he saw me running and leading a group of kids during morning run. He says he's afraid that making me the Head is gonna put a lot of pressure on me, and stuff, and he's worried i can't cope, what with being APS and all that.

Frankly, i don't know if I can cope. I told him i didn't particularly want to be the Head, only if i must, then i'll accept it and do my best. So he says he knows i'm not ambitious, but he feels that if he votes me in it'll be extremely unfair to me. At this point, a part of me wanted to just agree and get out of being inn the prefect board altogether.

But then, i realised that i really did want to continue serving the school as a leader and all, so i just said, yea i can cope. Thing is, i don't think i have him convinced. Truth be told, i wouldn't mind if i got out of exco. Seriously, as long as i have opportunities to do camps and stuff i don't really care what my "rank" is. I have enough of politics from NP already.

After that was the dance, so that was awesome. I had been looking forward to it for such a long time it felt great. Plus we actually have the whole song down! So i can show off to Sher. God knows she needs to stop showing off her knowledge of everything and anything k-pop.

Speaking of her, we had a phone call last night and i guess i kinda trashed everything out. One of the best things about her, if her ability to actually listen to me. Which is more than i can say for most people. *cough*Jacq*cough*

Any how, it seems i've been taken out of morning run. While this means one less responsibility, i kinda like morning run and being a sports leader and stuff, so it's kinda disappointing. But like Mr Foo said, sacrifices must be made i guess.

Last night i punched the wall in anger so many times, my hand is bruised and swollen. I was just so frustrated and pissed that the pain felt so damn good. Some of my pals saw my hand and they were like WTH! It's obviously bigger and blacker than my left hand. Oh well, my fault i guess. I don't regret my actions though.

Oh and thanks Marc, for the wonderful birthday present. And Roy and Aaron too! I actually swapped my wallet out for Roy's and put Aaron's keychain on it. As i type i'm sipping green tea from Marc's fabulous cup.

I appreciate it guys.

whoa!!
5:52 PM

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I am

FU**ing PISSED

whoa!!
10:10 PM

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Happy birthday to ME!

Yes yes yes. Thank you all for the kind messages and the facebook wall posts (: Thank god for the facebook upcoming birthday lists huh? It's doubly useful for those attached!

Unlike most of my posts previously, i won't launch into a long tirade of rants and whines about the past week. Because believe me if i do, this post would easily be a freaking novel by the time i'm done. Yes, i'm putting it out there for the world to know. I've had a HORRID WEEK! YAY ME!

Although, i MUST say this though. To my CIs and my squadmates, thank you for making camp worth coming for. Seriously. I didnt really want to be there, but i perservered simply cause of you guys. My squadmates have been with me throughout all the shit these past 4 years and without them, i'd be one of those idiots skipping training all the time. *cough*Jeremy*cough*Ow*

Thanks for giving me a surprise birthday gift too! I think it was one of the best gifts i've ever had. The cake, although not from secret Recipe or whatever, was the sweetest and best cake i've ever eaten in my entire life, and i have all of you to thank for that.

Last night i woke up vomitting some stuff into the toilet bowl. It's a wonder how i got to the toilet fast enough. My joints are aching and my left pinky is actually burnt due to a cooking mishap during camp. The skin is like peeling off, and it's disgusting to look at. The flesh is raw and puckered.

Oh and i punched the wall multiple times, so my knuckle is actually bruised. If i show you my hands side by side, you can see the swelling. I stuffed it into a bucket of ice but it hurt more than it help so oh well. I'm used to dealing with the pain. How do you think i survived till my 16th birthday? Ha ha. Joke, joke.

Today was... bittersweet. In about 2 hours it'll be Her birthday too! So we sorta had lunch together, but that was about it. She had tuition and i had family stuff to attend to. So i was like, DANG IT!! But still, Pasta Mania is awesome. The Aglio Olio is to die for. If there's ever a last meal for me to choose before i die...

I basically whined about my week to her while she whined about hers. Oh and on the way, this cyclist almost knocked me down! I have the wound on my knee to show it! I was so damn pissed at the cyclist and Sher was too, but when i turned around, the cyclist in question was the one of the prettiest girls i've ever seen.

Call me a pervert, call me an asshole, whatever. But seriously she was like a model or something. Sher was just about to rip her head off but i brushed it off and said i was fine. She apologised and left. I kept insisting i was fine.

Until Sher pointed out the trail of blood from my knee to my right sock.

Anyways, it didn't hurt. I mean, what better way to die than to be knocked down by a cute girl? Ok well, i'm not as shallow as that, seriously i'm not, and i AM a one woman kinda guy. But like i told Roy and a few others. Just cause you're on a diet, don't mean you can't look at the menu.

Ok ok seriously, i'm not THAT SHALLOW! I mean come on, guys are allowed to acknowledge other woman's looks right? It's only wrong if it goes further. Anyway, Sher didnt mind, which is why she's awesome.

My family and i went out for lunch to celebrate my belated birthday, and my dad made such a big deal of it. He's a very traditional kinda guy, and i actually had to fight him to let me go for the NP camp prior to today. He believes that birthdays should always always be with family. He was damn angry i had to be at camp, but he had nothing to say when i told him that it'd be a lame excuse to tell Mrs Lim that it's my birthday so i can't go to camp.

Yea... My dad isn't easy to persuade, and it was on bad terms that he allowed me to go. But what's behind us s behind us, and we got our family thing anyway.

Sigh. I was thinking of her during the entire camp. She kept me going, kept me breathing. The thought of seeing her again today made me get up after every push up or sit up or burpy, made me run the next round around the school, clear up the next mess, cook the next meal, complete the next activity. It was magical.

I found almost 5 messages from her on the first day, and i read and replied to them before i fell asleep, and damn if i didnt have a good night!

Enough of that though. Too many people read my blog, my parents could say something...

There's so much to blog about, and frankly, i don't think i can compress it all to one post. This one's already at 250+ words at this point, and most, if not all, know that blogger screws up posting if the the length is too long. I want people to actually be abe to read my posts clearly dammit. You hear that blogger!?

Maybe i'll blog more tomorrow. If i have the time of course. Weekdays are difficult, cause i'm either so damn tired or have homework. What's more next week is almost full of tests, which we were given the weekened to study for, but mine was spent in school. Ironic really, staying in school for 3 days, and being unable to study. How cool is that? Well, not very.

I shall end this here. Know that i appreciate all who wished me a Happy Birthday. Her most of all, because she made today worth living for.

Till next time then.

whoa!!
9:47 PM

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Dread

Is a powerful feeling.

Camp's tomorrow. The sian-ness is overpowering. From the bottom of my heart, i truly do not wish to go for this camp.

whoa!!
9:48 PM

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A new day brings new possibilities... er, right?

The morning started off with another bout of stomachaches. Frankly, i'm getting annoyed at myself. I don't think i've eaten any bad food, so it can't be food poisoning. At least, i don't suspect it to be.

Anywho, Mr Foo took me out for a walk during PC period ( LIBERATION!). We talked about some stuff, and i am extremely grateful that he bothered to take the time to talk to me about those things. I mean, how many teachers would care enough to help me clear my thoughts and stuff about whatever, and give me a moral boost to boot?

Not many i tell you. And i live with 2 of them.

As for our topics of conversation, it's highly classified. And if i told you, i'd have to shoot you. Which means Roy Mok's body is probably at some back alley in Clarke Quay rolled up in a rag and left to rot. But i digress.

It seems a huge responsibility may or may not be placed upon me. And i wouldn't bother talking to my parents, contrary to what Mr Foo thinks. I don't talk to my parent's about many things. School, friends, i keep that part of my life a very off-limit part of home conversation. I suppose i don't really have that level of comfort when i talk to them about difficult things and my problems and all that. Maybe more my mum, but my dad.... Hahaha, let's just say Amanda would understand. Right?

Even if i do talk to them, i'd mostly get some unhelpful responses. The same goes for the few i've shared my problems with. They basically say, "Look, you gotta figure this out yourself dude, i have faith in you though". It'd be more helpful to just say "Use the Force Luke!" for all the help it does me.

Then again, i suppose i really do have to figure it out myself. It's just that a little direction would go a really long way.

Also, there's the issue of being in camp during my birthday. And i realise, after reading through the last post, i sounded like a brat, griping and whining about missing my birthday. And i'm here to say that as a 15 year old teenager, full of angst and whatever else adults call us, i am actually ALLOWED to act unreasonable and whatnot. After, we're only living up to expectations yes?

Kidding. I mean yea, it sucks to have your birthday in camp. But like Mr Foo said. Sometimes you just gotta celebrate you're birthdays in camp. Yes he did say that, and it was all i could do to keep myself from cracking up.

16 isn't much of a big deal anyway. Like i said, it just means O level year. What's there to celebrate anyway? The fact that you'd have relatively no social life outside of facebook after June cause going out and having fun would be a thing of the past? Wow am i excited to be 16. Not.

It's a different story with my Dad though. He's always been a firm believer in famiy tradition. As i type right now, he's planning on going to school in the morning to talk to Mrs Maggie Lim about letting me off the camp. Aside from the fact that it would make me seem like a totally spoilt brat and what not, i also feel that as an APS i sort of have a duty to attend the camp right? At LEAST until after the campfire.

My dad however, thinks it's outrageous and blah blah blah. Again, Manda would understand. Oh and speaking of Amanda, if you're reading this, i realise now that many people think we're siblings. You'd have to work with me to sort that one out. Although it'd be nice if we were. Imagine, i'd be in a household that never sleeps... It's great to have cool cousins.

Oh, and Monday is Her birthday! So i guess i'll have to have a joint celebration with her like last year. I'm not really free on Monday... Sorry dear! But i promise Sunday will be a blast! If i'm not dead from camp. Plus i have an A maths test that day. Again, i wonder who came up with the brilliant idea of having the annual camp during term time. Although they may have valid reasons, i think it just makes a whole lotta people around here unhappy...

Anyway, i haven't decided what to do for her on Sunday... maybe Manda could help me! I mean, she's sort of like a girl isn't she? So you'd know what She might like right? Er, right...? Or maybe Roy... he has more experience in these kinda things.

I'd just love to tease her about how she has to wait 2 more days after me to go for NC16 shows! Man, the look on her face would be priceless! Oh and i'm actually trying to get permission for her to come down to our school on chinese new year, but i don't think anyone would allow that huh? Even SOME SCHOOL has banned their student from being seen with guys outside their school in uniform.

Geez

whoa!!
10:23 PM